The only reasonable way to handle the abortion discussion

Name is pending
4 min readJan 15, 2023

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You either are Pro-Choice or you are Pro-Life. Rarely has there been a topic that is as black and white as this one!

(source: https://pixabay.com/illustrations/baby-heart-womb-uterus-abortion-5965335/)

Let’s be honest here for a second: There’s a case to be made for both sides of the story!

One wants to stay in control of their lives, values their life over the unborn, wants to (in extreme cases) not bear the child of a violent act.

The other one values the life that isn’t born as well as that of the mother.

Abort, if necessary?

I’m struggling with my opinion on this topic these last years, not alone due to the fact, that I still don’t want children right now and was sure, that I would tend to even go as far as to demand of the woman to abort (wether she complied or not is another thing). The reasoning is as follows:

I promised myself and my future children that I wouldn’t have any until I’m ready. I grew up poor, was heavy physically and emotionally abused as a child. And even when my parents managed to get some money the only way for me to really partake in it was to steal from them. My life wasn’t becoming easier by my parents being on the road to become rich.

I said that I wanted to give my children the life that I’ve never had. Present myself as a father to them, like mine never could. And that means I, as well as my possible girlfriend/wife would have to be ready for a child, and especially we’d need to know to be ready making the conscious decision to get one.

Abortion was always on the forefront of my mind, as I said. And I never really had an issue with it to be honest. Where I live abortion is legal up to three months after conception, which to me (still) seems reasonable.

BUT, and here comes the big BUT, I can no longer uphold the notion that abortion IS NOT KILLING, because indeed it is. And it’s most probably even worse, because it’s in many cases (perhaps even mine) literally sacrificing the potential of a whole lifetime on the altar of egoism. And where not just talking about the lifetime of the baby, we are also talking about a lifetime worth of experiences for other people, the parents for example, siblings, Grandparents, etc.
Abortion is ME, ME, ME. And I say that as a man, who basically has no choice on the matter as society and women have decided (but that may be another topic for an article, my dear 5 readers a month).

How to talk about it in the future!

So my own take on this isn’t easy and well, at least the realisation that there is a life to be decided upon has softened me up to some degree now, as I grow more mature. If a child would announce itself now earlier than I expected I would spend more time about the decision, for sure. Maybe I even would decide to embrace the circumstances (because again, it isn’t really my decision, isn’t it, but let’s say it was for a second).

I think in the future we need to talk more honest about this topic. As morally unjustifiable the sheer act of abortion might be to some, there’s a case to be made of its necessity to some degree, even if it’s JUST for egotistical reasons. But leaving out the aliveness of what we are talking about in an attempt to advertise the killing of a human being, to even worse, normalise it, well I can’t think of a single case where this would be justifiable, even if the woman who carries it would have been the victim of a rape. We need to talk about abortion in the context of ending a human life, even if we agree to allow it to some degree! That’s human decency, that’s honesty and that’s taking accountability for ones actions!

Am I Pro-Choice now or Pro-Life

Well, I’m still Pro-Choice, to a reasonable degree, and yet personally I like the fact that this decision has become that much harder even for me. Perhaps it’s about time to develop a discussion about this topic, that is more nuanced and more honest. Clearly, forbidding abortion can’t be the solution but neither can abortion up to 9 months be. I only know now, If I’d have to choose between those two, I’d become Pro-Life rather quickly!

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Name is pending

Away from politics more into stuff I feel like writing about with the hope to find myself in some topics. Join me on my travel to writers glory 😅